Making time...choosing time

I read a poem recently that went like this:

Funny isn't it?
Keith H Woodland

When the other fellow takes a long to do something he's slow.
But when I take a long time to do something, I'm through.
When the other fellow doesn't do it, he's lazy.
But when I don't do it, I'm too busy.
When the other fellow goes ahead and does something without being told, he's overstepping his bounds.
But when I go ahead and do something without being told, that's initiative!
When the other fellow overlooks a few of the rules of etiquette, he's rude.
But when I skip a few of the rules, I'm original.
When the other fellow does something that pleases the boss, that's polishing the brass.
But when I do something that pleases the boss, that's cooperation.
When the other fellow gets ahead, he sure had the lucky breaks.
But when I manage to get ahead, "Man HARD WORK did that!"

I ran across this poem randomly on the internet and I just loved it!  It went right along with things that have been filling my thoughts lately.

A week or so ago I sat on a sunny patch of grass catching up with a good friend.  We talked about our lives, our kids, our work, our husbands, our families.  As we talked something she said struck me.  She was telling me about a person she knew who didn't always put forth great efforts in keeping their relationship, and she talked about making time for relationships and how it's so important to make the time to keep the relationship, it takes work but if we want the relationship we have to work for it.  I nodded in agreement, but something inside of me stung a little.

You see, I'm not a people person, I don't crave that kind of attention.  I have a handful of GREAT friends but don't love crowds of people.  In fact, I could literally be all alone for a long time and be totally content.  Most weeks I just do my own thing, my own little family takes up my time and that suffices me.  Literally I've gone weeks without talking or seeing my mom and she lives like 25 min away. I call it independent, but maybe it's socially awkward-ness, or maybe I'm odd, HA! Really! I don't think you're taking me seriously, but I just don't even think about things like that very often.  Most days I can't see past the end of my nose and I'm perfectly unaware of things going on with others.

When my friend said this I really started to think about carving out time for relationships I want to strengthen and keep.  And maybe not necessarily because I need to or crave that, but because they do!  WOW! Hit me like a ton of bricks!! How selfish I've been as a friend, to just think "Eh, I don't have time we'll get together sometime" and shrug it off.  (Yep, the introvert in me makes that all to easy)  So what if I just gave an hour or a day or a few hours? What would happen? How would my life change?

I remember having girls night once a month with some pretty amazing gals I taught preschool with.  We'd leave those nights late and heading home and laughing, and being happy, and knowing my cup was full.  I was a better mom, a better wife and all around a little happier because I had spent time cultivating a relationship with people I wanted to be with.  Do I want that again? Yes, yes I think I do!

Life get's crazy and I can't bank that once a month things will happen.  But I do know that I want people to feel and know that they matter in my life.  I want my visiting teaching sisters to really know I care and not think I'm just there to turn in a number.  I want my friends to know that our relationship means something to me and that I am willing to make time to spend time with them.  I want my family to know they matter and that I want to be with them and spend time, not just co-exist.

As I read that poem above I thought how true it is that we always think we are too busy (aren't we all?), or that person doesn't understand, or how we wouldn't do things like that if we were them.... But what if we made time to listen?  What if instead of saying we were too busy (Amazingly enough we ALL have the same amount of hours in a day) we simply chose things that we wanted to take part in, and honestly said "I choose to spend my time in other places" to the rest of it?  Isn't that really what we do anyway?  Are we really that busy?  I know there are days I am really busy, but I seem to find 5 min to check my email and to respond to texts during the day.  I seem to find a little while at the end of the day to read, blog, study, or whatever it is I desire to do when the kids are tucked in at night.  I seem to find time to walk in the early hours of the heat seeking days of June...so why don't I have an hour to help my neighbor weed the garden, or to chat with the widow down the street, or take a friend to lunch, or make dinner for a new family?

I want these habits to be a part of my life. To show my kids that relationships matter, that we have to make time for other people and sometimes it's not for US...it's for THEM!  When we get outside of ourselves by serving, listening, giving, engaging...I know we'll find more of us out there than we ever did 'being too busy'.  So what about you?  What are you willing to do?  Will you carve an hour out of your day to chat with a friend? A Saturday out of your week to sit with your grandma an reminisce about things of her childhood?  Or 30 minutes to introduce yourself to the new neighbors?  I Hope to do all of these things!!

2016 Focus

Missing in action lately.  Sorry, life caught up with me.  I wanted to take a minute and write about my 2016 goals.  As many of you know I choose a word or phrase each year to focus on.  Last year was delight, it truly had an impact on my life to find the good, seek out the fun and joyful things in my life.  It gave me purpose and excuses to do more exciting things and to be happy about my choices. This year will be no different in purpose but I have a new phrase!

For 2016, I chose three words:  Present, Patience and Purpose.

I feel that in an ever increasing world of technology we seldom look up from our devices to actually pay attention to the world around us.  We have so much at our fingertips, google, questions answered, maps, directions, anything and everything.  I see so often, young adults who don't know how to be bored or to just enjoy one another's company because if they are bored they simply pull out a device and scroll, or read, or do something so they don't have to endure what they are currently situated in.  I see this happening in church meetings, in conversations with family, during family events, at dinners, and any other time and place you could dream of.  Being present takes action in this world.  You have to want it, you have to try to be with people.  I too am guilty of checking my phone WAY too often, of not letting things that need to be present in my life be.  I respond to emails for my primary calling, texts for my Kimber Academy job, paying bills, making lists, reading articles I feel are necessary, all while telling the things I need to be present for "just a minute!"  Yes, this trap is a tricky.  Did you know that 20 years ago, I didn't even have a cell phone, heck 15 years ago I didn't.  I went to town without anyone being able to get a hold of me.  We went on vacations and shopping trips without the interruption of someone or something else in our daily routine, and We SURVIVED, actually we probably did so a bit better than today.  So, the first part of my focus this year is to BE PRESENT!  To put the blasted phone away and not have to email or text back when someone wants to converse.  Trust me if it's that important, they'll find me!  And if they don't, well it obviously could wait.

Patience, I've struggled with this for.....forever!  Also, not being present creates a lack of patience, with so many things at access so quickly no wonder we all have no patience, we want it now and we have no need to wait, no need for delayed gratification.  This is something I hope to work on diligently.  To be patient with my family, to be patient with others choices, to be patient in the Lord's timing, to be patient with myself and to be patient as a wife and mother.  So many good things are worth the wait.  A baby takes 9 months to grow, can you imagine if we just wanted them here NOW, it just can't work that way, GOOD THINGS ARE WORTH THE WAIT!



Purpose, with all of these things, purpose ties in so perfectly!  We need purpose, if we are looking for an answer on google we need a purpose, if we are responding to emails and texts we need purpose.  Instead of flying on a whim, if we purposefully choose to respond to those emails, to do the laundry, to read our scriptures, to play with our kids, to clean the bathroom, we will be able to accomplish more and to be doing so with a PURPOSE behind it.  I don't want to find myself scrolling through Facebook for hours unless that is my purpose and I've given myself time for that.  I want to live this life with PURPOSE to have my choices be meaningful and my decisions be made with intent.  I want to look at Pinterest with my girls with purpose, I want to make time to play at the park, and by having purpose in my actions I can create this time and the things that need done will come first.  Priorities will come more easily with Purpose.

With all that said, I have to be a better blogger this year as well.  Writing to me is healing, it helps me sort out my thoughts, to be a better version of me and to express ideas and things I keep penned up in my head.  My mind is clearer when I get to write what's in there.  I hope my sharing will help those reading as well.

May we all practice being more Present, having more Patience and having a Purpose in all we do!