I read a poem recently that went like this:
Funny isn't it?
Keith H Woodland
When the other fellow takes a long to do something he's slow.
But when I take a long time to do something, I'm through.
When the other fellow doesn't do it, he's lazy.
But when I don't do it, I'm too busy.
When the other fellow goes ahead and does something without being told, he's overstepping his bounds.
But when I go ahead and do something without being told, that's initiative!
When the other fellow overlooks a few of the rules of etiquette, he's rude.
But when I skip a few of the rules, I'm original.
When the other fellow does something that pleases the boss, that's polishing the brass.
But when I do something that pleases the boss, that's cooperation.
When the other fellow gets ahead, he sure had the lucky breaks.
But when I manage to get ahead, "Man HARD WORK did that!"
I ran across this poem randomly on the internet and I just loved it! It went right along with things that have been filling my thoughts lately.
A week or so ago I sat on a sunny patch of grass catching up with a good friend. We talked about our lives, our kids, our work, our husbands, our families. As we talked something she said struck me. She was telling me about a person she knew who didn't always put forth great efforts in keeping their relationship, and she talked about making time for relationships and how it's so important to make the time to keep the relationship, it takes work but if we want the relationship we have to work for it. I nodded in agreement, but something inside of me stung a little.
You see, I'm not a people person, I don't crave that kind of attention. I have a handful of GREAT friends but don't love crowds of people. In fact, I could literally be all alone for a long time and be totally content. Most weeks I just do my own thing, my own little family takes up my time and that suffices me. Literally I've gone weeks without talking or seeing my mom and she lives like 25 min away. I call it independent, but maybe it's socially awkward-ness, or maybe I'm odd, HA! Really! I don't think you're taking me seriously, but I just don't even think about things like that very often. Most days I can't see past the end of my nose and I'm perfectly unaware of things going on with others.
When my friend said this I really started to think about carving out time for relationships I want to strengthen and keep. And maybe not necessarily because I need to or crave that, but because they do! WOW! Hit me like a ton of bricks!! How selfish I've been as a friend, to just think "Eh, I don't have time we'll get together sometime" and shrug it off. (Yep, the introvert in me makes that all to easy) So what if I just gave an hour or a day or a few hours? What would happen? How would my life change?
I remember having girls night once a month with some pretty amazing gals I taught preschool with. We'd leave those nights late and heading home and laughing, and being happy, and knowing my cup was full. I was a better mom, a better wife and all around a little happier because I had spent time cultivating a relationship with people I wanted to be with. Do I want that again? Yes, yes I think I do!
Life get's crazy and I can't bank that once a month things will happen. But I do know that I want people to feel and know that they matter in my life. I want my visiting teaching sisters to really know I care and not think I'm just there to turn in a number. I want my friends to know that our relationship means something to me and that I am willing to make time to spend time with them. I want my family to know they matter and that I want to be with them and spend time, not just co-exist.
As I read that poem above I thought how true it is that we always think we are too busy (aren't we all?), or that person doesn't understand, or how we wouldn't do things like that if we were them.... But what if we made time to listen? What if instead of saying we were too busy (Amazingly enough we ALL have the same amount of hours in a day) we simply chose things that we wanted to take part in, and honestly said "I choose to spend my time in other places" to the rest of it? Isn't that really what we do anyway? Are we really that busy? I know there are days I am really busy, but I seem to find 5 min to check my email and to respond to texts during the day. I seem to find a little while at the end of the day to read, blog, study, or whatever it is I desire to do when the kids are tucked in at night. I seem to find time to walk in the early hours of the heat seeking days of June...so why don't I have an hour to help my neighbor weed the garden, or to chat with the widow down the street, or take a friend to lunch, or make dinner for a new family?
I want these habits to be a part of my life. To show my kids that relationships matter, that we have to make time for other people and sometimes it's not for US...it's for THEM! When we get outside of ourselves by serving, listening, giving, engaging...I know we'll find more of us out there than we ever did 'being too busy'. So what about you? What are you willing to do? Will you carve an hour out of your day to chat with a friend? A Saturday out of your week to sit with your grandma an reminisce about things of her childhood? Or 30 minutes to introduce yourself to the new neighbors? I Hope to do all of these things!!
