Then and Now...change is good!

Reflecting....I think I do that a lot :)!  I was thinking about who I use to be and who I am now.  Thinking about the road that lead me to THIS place I am, THIS person I am....WOW what a journey!  You think you know who you are and then you turn around and you are someone very different.  When I was little I was cautious, shy, very observant of others.  When I turned 8 years old my family took me to a Mexican Restaurant and the staff had me put on a huge sombrero and they proceeded to sing "happy birthday" to me....well if you don't already know, now you do please don't sing happy birthday to me!!! Especially not in public places.  I melted, sank low in my chair then under the table and sobbed.  Yeah not a lime light kind of gal.  That definitely hasn't changed.  Although in high school I wasn't really popular, not unpopular but just kinda did my own thing, I was quiet and liked things just so.
I use to be an immaculate room keeper (because that's all that I had to claim as mine I suppose) every 30 days I would gut my room.  We are talking bed out, mattress out, everything OUT!  I cleaned, vacuumed, wiped down and put it all back in, in an orderly organized fashion.  I was thrilled to help friends clean their rooms, houses and the like.  I still have this obsession and have to remind myself to NOT clean so I can get other things done.  But my cleaning has taken a backseat.  Who knew 7 people could make a house so messy DAILY?!?!  Not me!  That's when I had to let things go.....or go insane.  (maybe I did a little of both ;0)!)
I've always been opinionated, but I use to not verbalize it out loud.  Now I'm happy to give my opinion whenever you'd like, and maybe even when you wouldn't like it!

I use to think that kids that misbehaved were totally not getting enough discipline at home!  After Buckwheat came into the world I kind of changed my mind about that one.  Sometimes the parents are to blame, but quite often these little people come to earth with these.........PERSONALITIES they developed somewhere that I am quite certain I didn't have much say in!  I will never forget when Buckwheat was about 18 months old I attended a movie with my parents and some other peeps in my family.  Buckwheat still had a binky and was doing quite well til about 45 min into it.  He got restless (he's a BOY and he's BUSY!!) so I tried to entertain, tried to let him stand by me, play with my purse, my phone (we didn't have smart phones then), and various other quiet activities in the proximity we were contained to.  Well he'd had about enough of that.... he started to get louder (he still has no idea what a quiet voice is) and louder.  Quietly I whispered "you have to be quiet".  He looked at me, binky in mouth, and GROWLED "MMMMMOOOOOMMMMM!"   "SHHHHHHHH!" I said.  Wrong word.   Out came the binky and I saw it fly into the crowded theater.  I'm sure it smacked someone in the back of the head or they later found it in their popcorn (SORRY whoever you were!).  I was mortified, now I had NO way of keeping this little man quiet or content.  So I gave in..........I just let it all loose and gave in.  I put him on the ground so perhaps his non quiet voice wouldn't be so loud!  Guess what he found?  Oh yeah!  POPCORN! No, I didn't buy it, others did, you know the popcorn you step on when you find your seat.  YEP!  He found it, and without the bink, HE WAS GOING TO EAT IT!!! So I just let him.  I felt like the worst mother ever, felt like perhaps he'd become deathly ill, but I just couldn't make him sit still and he had chucked his plug into the crowd so my son ate popcorn off of the dollar theater floor that night.  That's when I knew that the old me.........yeah she was GONE!  With Jo it was so easy, she let me feed her, SHE NEVER got messy (except on her 1st birthday when I took deep breaths and rocked in the corner as she ate her cake in her highchair). Seriously I was a clean Nazi!  And when Peanut came around it was every man or child for themselves :) HAHA!  No, but I have chilled IMMENSELY since baby number one. Peanut now frequently says to me "Really mom?!"  with all the attitude of a 17 year old in a 5 year old body!



Other things that have changed.... is that I always  had to look just so.  My dad use to go bonkers when we'd go hunting, because I had to get up an hour early to "primp" for the hunt.  He would say "Whose gonna see you?!" and honestly I have no idea who would've but it was just who I was.  I still get ready, I still like to look nice, but there are some days I have been known to go to town with a beanie and my gym clothes on (something I swore I'd NEVER do!).  And since we've started homeschooling I am constantly saying to the kids "please do your hair, you  look like you are homeschooled!"  HAHA!

Another....I use to remember things.....okay everything..... like crazy!  I mean weird dates, peoples phone numbers, memorizing long lists of words and their definitions, work phone numbers of numerous contractors we dealt with, crazy things and in great detail too!  I still do (I do know all my bank account numbers by heart, my SSN (duh) and my DL number too) but some days mommy brain has the best of me and  if I don't write it down I may have no idea what you are talking about ;)  there was one point it got pretty bad and my mom started calling me Dori like on Nemo... yeah mommy brain can be that bad sometimes LOL!  (Lists and calendar apps have become my best friends)

I use to have an obsession with moose.  I had a moose decor room, I had moose figurines, moose signs, moose dishes, moose sheets.  Now I still like moose, I just don't feel the need to decorate with them.  I use to be a rule follower, letter of the law kinda girl.  Now I feel the need to go against the grain, to find whats right for me and whats right for my family.  I don't like to be told what to do...never have (which is weird that I liked to follow rules, hmmm).  I use to want 12 kids, then after watching my 3 little bros in my tween-teen years I determined ONE child would be magical!  Glad that didn't stick ;)!



Another use to..........I use to always compare.....I wish I was more like her and could be more playful with my kids, or I wish I could relax and be laid back like her, or I wish I was as skinny as this one, or I wish I could......blah blah blah.  It's taken me a few years but for the most part I don't want to be like anyone else. Don't get me wrong, there are women I love, admire and look up to, many of them and they are inspirations, but I don't need to be them.  I have weaknesses and things I want to change about me, but I don't want to be someone else.  I like having my body, having my strengths.....and weaknesses, because I know what to do with me and what I know what I  need to work on with ME, I wouldn't have a clue what to do with her.  I love the quote that says "Comparison is the thief of Joy!"  Or better yet "The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday!"  That's EXACTLY right.  I am me, and I'm very glad I am! In a book I've been reading called Desperate hope for the mom who needs to breathe the co writer wrote something so inspiring to me, it went something like this: I need to be me, with all my strengths weaknesses, imperfections and all, my children needed this mom, they were sent to be with me for a reason and I am what they need.  I just wanted to SHOUT FOR JOY!  AMEN!!  I agree 100%, even though I want to be a better mom a better version of me, I am what they need, I am who they need and they will be who they are partly because of me.

So, then I was a growing girl trying to figure out who I was.  Doing what I knew how to do and getting better everyday.  And now, I am still trying to be better everyday, but in different ways.  I am sure when I am 60 and look back I will be pleasantly surprised at where I am and who I am... Just as I am sure the teenage version of me would be pleasantly surprised of who I am today.   Change is necessary, change is amazing and change makes us who we are each and everyday!

Welcome 2014!

I hope you're ringing in the New Year with a BANG!  We are planning a shin dig with my cousin and her littles.  Food, games and fun!  I have had a few quiet moments to do my "planning retreat!" and I've found that it may take longer than just one session, perhaps a planning month is more my style.  I am planning meals (loose meal plans, I've discovered I don't like things to be too set in stone....funny the things you learn about yourself as you get older.) I've thought a lot about my word......My one word goal for 2014 is:

ACT

Are you EXCITED?!?!?!  I really like this word.  It can mean so many different things.  You can ACT appropriately, you can ACT your age, you can ACT when something difficult is thrown your way.  You can ACT up, you can ACT out.  Act, just a smalll simple word yet it's meaning is so deep.  My Jo recently came home from church and showed me a very inspiring video.   "Only a Stonecutter" is a powerful video clip about the faith and persistence of one man.  Regardless of your religious affiliation, his dedication and determination are unlike anyone I've ever met!  I encourage you to watch it!  This is the main reason I chose the word ACT.  In the beginning of the clip the son says that there are two kinds of people in the world those that act and those that are acted upon! ...............WOW!  

I won't give the rest of it away, seriously watch it!! It's AMAZING!  For this reason, I choose to be a kind of person that acts!  I want my children to remember me as the mom who did her best, worked hard and made every moment count. ACT....I want to act on the promptings and stirrings I have to help others.  I often feel the need to call someone or write a letter or drop something off but I neglect these feelings and just let my own busy-ness get in the way.  I want to ACT first, and by doing so I hope to have less busy-ness and more I'm so glad I did's.  Act.....when life get's rough I want to ACT, I don't want to sit idly by or wish I would've done something to make the situation better.  For instance I have been trying so hard to be a morning person, it. just. doesn't. work.  I will keep trying however, but when my night owl is bursting at the seams to get out...I'll let it out and make the most of it.  By doing things that are productive and bettering my self, my family's life, maybe even filling my bucket so I can better serve and do and help those around me.

I don't know about you, but my TO DO LIST keeps growing.... but I'm not going to let that get me down.  I'm going to love that I have stuff that needs done, love that I can keep improving, keep plodding along and making progress.  I WILL ACT in 2014!  In Lieu of pictures....(because my google plus isn't allowing me to upload any at the moment HAHA!) I found a bunch of really cool quotes on my favorite pinning place that are all about ACT!  Enjoy ~

Clam Chowder ~ Yum

I LOVE WINTER!  Okay I think we all have heard enough of that.  But it's not that I love freezing weather in fact I don't really like it when it's -18... No... No ... I don't.  But I love soup and warm mittens and brown paper packages tied up with string... THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!  Okay enough singing.  I truly love the warm foods, the wood burning in our fireplace, snuggling down with a good book and hot cocoa.  I love the very essence of winter!  Plus I love SOUP!  And soup just isn't good when it's 70 degrees outside.

CLAM CHOWDER was calling my name.  In all the eleven years I've been a wife..and mother for that matter, I've never once made clam chowder.  WHY?!  I have no clue, I simply love the stuff but it seemed just too difficult to make.  My mom gave me some canned clams a while back and I needed to use them... so I whipped out my trusty smart phone with my well used pinning app and searched up some 'easy clam chowder' because I thought that easy would be necessary cause it looked difficult :).  BINGO...WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER (or clam chowder).  I found a FABULOUS recipe that was OH SO YUMMY! Even HANK said "this is really good!"  Okay I give him a hard time (rightfully so, he's forever teasing me and I don't know that we've ever had a serious conversation our whole married life...or have we? no one will ever know ha!) but really he is easy to fee, he pretty much eats whatever I make just doesn't usually LOVE it very often.  So the moment he said it was "really good!" I had Jo make him put it in writing.  Yes, I have a piece of paper with his signature stating that the soup I made was "really good!" :) (insert proud wife face here).  I made it for our family cmas party at my parent's house too!  REALLY GOOD SOUP PEOPLE!!!!  So try it out.  I doubled it the first time (we fed 5 people with not very much left over) then I quadrupled it for our party and it was plenty. I adapted it a little as I did not have any bottled clam juice so I just used chicken stock (I did use the clam juice from the canned clams but didn't really count that as it wasn't much.) I also used a lot more cream than they suggest...really it's a very adaptable recipe and very forgiving you can make it as thick or thin as you want and you could add peas or other veggies to it as well.  Enjoy ~  Recipe courtesy of Chef Ron Lock @ chefronlock.com 

Ingredients

• 2 (6-1/2-ounce) cans minced clams, with their juices
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter (1/4 stick)
• 1 cup small-dice yellow onion (about 1/2 medium onion)
• 1 slice thick-cut bacon, finely chopped
• 1 medium garlic clove, minced
• 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme or 1/2 teaspoon finely chopped fresh thyme leaves
• 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 2 cups bottled clam juice
• 1 pound russet potatoes (about 2 medium), peeled and cut into medium dice
• 1/3 cup heavy cream
• Sea Salt to taste
• Freshly ground black pepper

Directions

1. Strain the clams over a bowl. Reserve Juice and set clams aside.
   
   
2. Over medium heat, melt the butter in a saucepan. Add in the onion and the bacon. Cook, stirring now and then until the fat from the bacon has rendered. 8-10 minutes.
   
   
3. Add the garlic and thyme and cook, stirring occasionally, until fragrant, about 1 minute. Sprinkle in the flour and cook, stirring occasionally, 2-3 minutes but do not brown the flour.
   
   
4. Stirring constantly, slowly add the reserved strained clam juice and bottled clam juice. Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally and making sure to scrape the bottom and sides of the pan. Reduce the heat to medium low, add the potatoes, and bring to a simmer. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the potatoes are knife tender, about 15 minutes.
   
   
5. Stir in the cream and reserved clams and return to a simmer. Taste and season with salt and pepper as needed.

Out with the old...

As 2013 comes to a close I reflect on the things I had set out to do.  My "word" for 2013 was Strengthen. Although I did not accomplish all that I thought I would, but I did strengthen many things this year.  I set out to strengthen all areas of my life, my family, my mind, my body, my spirit....I like this 'one word' goal because it is easy to remember and I often found myself thinking about my "word".  I don't know that I accomplished all that I needed to or all that I would've liked, but I did make a great effort to Strengthen the things I could.  My family was strengthened by me spending time with them, teaching them and doing things for and with them, we were also blessed (or maybe it was procrastination HA!) with me taking a little break in school while I got ready for my big test this fall/winter.  It was LOVELY to have a break but it was even sweeter to pass the test (with the exception of the writing part...still waiting on the results)! It is so true that you don't know what you have until it's gone.  My brain NEEDED a break! I felt my sanity starting to wobble and so the break was welcomed and I read a lot more (things that didn't pertain to school....there is life out there!:))  I was able to focus on things I needed to and was able to get a few little projects done, which is good for the mind and body. But as I dreaded the return of school and all that it entails ....I realized how much I miss it!  I miss studying and writing papers (SICK.... I KNOW!) I miss the interaction I have with classmates and the instructors.  I also feel that when I am pressed for time I generally make the most of the time I have.  School makes me prioritize more and I seem to function better.  2013 was EPIC just as I thought it would be!  We farmed more than we ever have before, we had a baby horse and he's healthy and happy, all three little ones are schooling and loving it, we are experimenting with our "style" of schooling and we love learning how we learn and what we want to learn.  I'd say 2013 was a success!

As we prepare for 2014 which brings a new start, new goals and new plans....we begin with what we know will happen: I will start school again the first week of January, Hank will have more land to farm, we will continue to homeschool.  Those things we know are certain!  Recently I read a blog post from somewhere in blog land that had a new year planning retreat......what a great idea!! This retreat includes YOU yourself, a quiet place where you will not be interrupted, something good to munch on and something warm to drink, a pad of paper and pen.  I have a goal to DO this planning session, whether it be 2 days after the new year or today!  I will make this happen! I think planning is such a great thing, goals are so great and they help us to realize what is most important to us.  I want to make plans for being productive, make plans for my new "word" (stay tuned....it's a good one), make plans for homeschooling, make plans for serving, make plans for creating and make goals for where I want to be next year.  I use to look as goals as something I didn't want to make because at the end of the year... when I had forgotten my goals.....I would just feel discouraged but if I have a plan and a few good motto's/words that I know I want to work on, they will constantly remind me of what I want and what I am working towards.  Goals aren't suppose to be depressing they are suppose to help us find focus and lead us in the direction we want to go.  Whether we get there in 12 months or in 12 years doesn't matter, it only matters that we keep making progress!

Thinking about this blog, I sometimes write consistently......... then at times I hardly write at all.  I became discouraged about that and thought maybe it was best if I just didn't blog. But then I went back to the reasons I started blogging in the first place:  I love to share my ideas, I love to write, I love to express myself through written word and tend to do so a lot better than I do verbally ;).  So the Blog stays!  I mainly write for my own purpose anyway and if I happen to inspire one or two of you out there along the way that will just be icing on the cake.

So here's to Planning Retreats and new things to come! I hope your 2013 was as EPIC as mine! A big thanks to all those who read my blog once, or always....I'm happy you do!

Simplifying.....just about everything

Simplifying has been on my mind a lot lately.  The fact that we have so much "STUFF" and the fact that our comfy home seems to be overrun with this "STUFF" is a little annoying to me...especially for the past few weeks.  I'm kind of in a weird funk, I feel....OFF somehow, not sure how or why but I feel the need for a major change a major life (or maybe attitude) adjustment.  I bought a great book on simplifying (it was for homeschooling but applies to so much more).  This book truly touched me, I have this need to fill my bucket more, live life instead of "manage stuff" as a friend of mine put it.  With Christmas quickly approaching my desire to buy stuff is GONE, ZILCH, DI-PLEATED, OBSOLETE, NON EXISTENT!  I don't need more "CRAP" "STUFF"!!!  Sorry kids, mom's not going all out this year.  Once upon a time there was a simpler life, a life that wasn't made up of feeling like we were running marathons all day (on conveyor belts that never end), it wasn't made up of how much can we cram into one day, and it wasn't made up of houses full of stuff we don't need.  Now some may like life busy, like the running the doing.........that's cool, that's you, but this mama needs down time.  I need to be a Family, I need to read and listen, I need to clean (I know that's odd, but I do) I want to do a few projects sometimes, I want to enjoy this life!
Some of my fondest memories of my childhood are, going to my great grandmother's house, with her tiny kitchen with ONE drawer full of toys for us to play with.  That kitchen made the BEST food (well the cook did, but it wasn't a fancy kitchen with all the gadgets and quadruple cupboard space) they had no garage yet survived, the washer had to be drug into the kitchen and hooked up to the sink (bet they didn't throw their "mom I tried it on so it's dirty right?" clothes in the hamper)!  My grandma had an end table that was made from a bucket of wheat (food storage) and a glass top, covered with a table cloth and complete with a lamp.  She lived SIMPLY, she was happy, she spent time cooking, canning, making things work for her, and serving others.  I bet every single woman that knew my grandma had a phone call for their birthday! VERY little was EVER wasted.  In fact I remember her washing the wrappers to butter so she could wrap something else in it.  (I use 500 feet of plastic wrap!)

Yes some of these conveniences we have are life savers, some I would not want to do without.  Like, dishwashers, washing machines, dryers, my mixer, garbage disposals, etc.  But something in me is dying for SIMPLE, I want to just live and not have all this stuff to wade through.  I'm on a mission!  My to do list on my phone (yeah not wanting to give that little puppy up!) has a new ~Simplify task on it.  One that I have had on for a week and don't plan on EVER checking off.  So far I've gutted my closet (got rid of things that I just don't wear and won't ever, got rid of the things that I say "one day I'll fit into it again", that one day will come but until then I'm loving this body, dressing this me and I'm perfectly okay with that!), I cleaned out a bunch of paper work in the desk.  Not anything HUGE or MAJOR but it's a beginning and I won't finish til my house is "orderly" til things have a place and we can LIVE and not MANAGE (and I probably won't reach that in this lifetime haha!)  Baby steps, baby steps.

My great grandma's house was probably one of my favorite places on this Earth!  The feeling that was there was indescribable, my little granny had time for us, she let us cut bread, peel apples, we worked, we made memories and we did it with so much less than we have now.  We did it simply, we lived, we let life get in the way and it didn't mess up our schedule or our long list of "get there, go here's".

As a homeschooling mom I know my kids need ME!  With that said we let life teach us a whole lot.  Yeah that unschooling stuff is REALLY rubbing off on me :) (AND I LIKE IT... Shhhh!).  I need to be there to help them with their stuff (mentally there), I'm famous for saying..."just a minute" and an hour later I arrive to help them.  I need to not be sorting through junk mail, or trying to find the counter, or folding MOUNDS of laundry ALL. THE. TIME.  So perhaps a little scheduling and a little.....eeeekk..... going to bed ontime and waking up earlier is going to be needed.  But, I really like the night owl life!!!!  If we are burning the candle mine burns a HECK of a lot better at midnight than 6am!  This simplifying life might have to teach me some knew habits, and break some very old ones.

Life isn't like it was back when my grandma made mush and eggs and bacon every morning, but my goal is to find that balance between the modern conveniences that make this day and age so AWESOME and the little white house that I so dearly loved!  There is a balance, a middle ground of finding a place for my "stuff" (or chucking it..... hey! There's a thought!) and allowing those conveniences that truly make life easier to have a place too! So here's to Simplifying! However and whatever that may be for you ~ Simplify away!!!

:)

Soup's on!

Potato Gnocchi (organic from Target) 

Have I mentioned that I LOVE FALL!  Okay I may get a bit giddy when Fall arrives.  No I 'm not a summer fan.  Don't get me wrong I love the green grass and the fact that we can spend time outside, but let's be honest after 80 degrees it's just too hot!!  I'm a spring, fall, winter fan!  But Fall is my all time FAVORITE! Especially because of the fact that we get to eat SOUP again!  Yes, I am aware they make (or you can) soup all year.  But eating soup when it's 80 degrees outside just IS NOT okay with me.

I love soup!  Most any kind of soup!  Chicken noodle, Beef Vegetable, Beef and Barley, Ham and bean, Clam Chowder, and I really love any kind of soup from the Olive Garden!  I found some recipes on my favorite Pinning location HAHA! And so I made Chicken Gnocchi soup!  OH HEAVEN HELP ME!  It was to DIE for! I even used the organic roasted chicken I made!  Yeah I was feeling very domestic :)  So here's the recipe:

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup chicken breasts, cooked and diced (you can use a rotisserie chicken)
• 4 tablespoons butter
• 4 tablespoons flour
• 1 quart half and half
• 1 14 ounce can chicken broth
• 1/2 cup celery, finely diced
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 cup carrots, finely shredded
• 1 cup onion, finely diced
• 1 cup fresh spinach, coarsely chopped
• 1 tablespoon extra virgin oil
• 1/2 teaspoon thyme
• 1/2 teaspoon parsley
• Freshly grated parmesan cheese
• 1 pound potato gnocchi

DIRECTIONS

• 1
  Sauté the onion, celery, and garlic in the butter and olive oil, over medium heat when the onion becomes translucent, add the flour, and make a roux, let the butter and flour mixture cook for about a minute before adding 1 quart of half and half.
• 2
  Cook gnocchi according to package directions.
• 3
  Into the roux add in the carrots and chicken. Once the mixture becomes thick add the chicken broth. Once the mixture thickens again, add the cooked gnocchi, spinach, and seasonings, simmer until soup is heated through.

Source: copycat recipes

             

Sauteing

SOUP~!

Now that you have it you may want to eat it alone.......in the dark.............where no one can find you!

Weekends

Sometimes, not very often, but every once in a blue moon we Weekend it up!  Meaning we spend a lot of quality time as family doing the things we all LOVE to do.  It might not be "fun" to the average person but it makes our Heart's Sing and keeps us closer together and helps us Strengthen our relationships.

She loves Crow!

This particular weekend we saddled up the horse and took turns riding him.  His name is Crow and he is super TALL! He's a cool horse, he even knows how to lay down so you can get off and on of him easily :).... (I know you're wishing he was you're horse huh?)

We also went up to the mountain ground and looked for the cows.  They were coming home soon so we needed to locate them and see if we could account for all 51 of them.  Not all of them are ours but we still have to keep track.

Two Cute cowgirls counting the herd

We found some cool scratches in the Aspen tree's where a Bear had climbed up!  SWEET!!!

And that's how we Weekend!  We love it, we love it, we love it, we do!  How do you weekend?